Gratitude

I did something fun today.  I have been traveling since 6 this morning, in my car, and now on the train (where they have internet!).  I have been working on homework, and sleeping.  I just got a bit hungry and bought a bag of M&M's for 2 dollars in the cafe car.  At first, I kept berating myself because 1. M&M's are bad for me, 2. 2 dollars is a lot of money! Then I decided to just be thankful for those M& that I had two dollars in change in my purse (they only take cash...I never plan for that). 

I decided to change the heading on my blog...too serious! I have been taking things so seriously that I completely miss the hilarity, fun and beauty that surrounds me.  Why waste time worrying about EVERYTHING, which is what I have been doing much of my life.  It seems to be what many of us are trained to do. Everything will go wrong if we don't worry about it.  But how can we know what will happen? If we worry about a possible future, we never experience what is in front of us. 

I have been thinking a lot lately about prosperity.  Along with worrying, another one of my ingrained thinking patterns is that for some reason being happy, prosperous, and healthy is a bad thing.  Having money is a bad thing.  As a result, I haven't been able to let myself be sucessful, because that would mean having money, which is bad!  Strange logic.  I have realized that having money is NOT a bad thing.  Think of all the wonderful things I could create in this world if I weren't spending all my time worrying about haveing enough, or not having enough money.  I guess it is a paradox, with money I could do so much, but at the same time it is completely unrelated to my wellbeing.  That is such a freeing notion.

Healing

Surprisingly, writing this blog is taking a bit of courage...it requires me to believe that I have something to say, something to contribute to others. I have the tendency to think that believing in myself is arrogant, and that doing well is embarrassing.  Where the heck did that come from! :) I am realizing, however, that being me is amazing, and being me is healing. 

Being a healer or a heroine or a positive influence in some one's life does not require training, or great meaningful pursuits.  There is a woman, Mrs. R, who lives at the retirement community where I work as a hostess.  She comes into the Grill every night with her walker.  She can barely get around, and I think is often in quite a bit of pain, and yet when she speaks to you she radiates love.  She may say nothing more than "Good evening darling! Isn't it such a beautiful and wonderful day" (it can be snowing, raining, windy, sunny, cold, dark, blustery...she thinks it is all beautiful). And when she asks how you are doing she really is interested in your response.  For me, just seeing her have so much love for herself and the small moments of life is healing.  You can see it is healing to all the others around her for when she sits at a table, immediately it is full of people, lively conversation, and laughter. She thinks she has something worth saying, and it is healing to all around her. She is not trying, she is just being herself.  She is not doing anything huge or amazing, just going to dinner, and yet it shifts my day.  I think the best thing about her is that she wears white velcro sneakers that she has decorated with glow in the dark puff paint! They make her happy, she says.  Maybe I'll go get a pair...

Then write her a Thank You note.

So here I go, unafraid to be myself, to love, and to be of service.

Hello!

Hello Everyone,
I have decided to start a blog.  It will be a fun way to keep people up to date on what I am doing and learning, and it will be good writing practice!  Now I have to write something...